Bubble butt......

I bought some Of those absolutely adorable bubble leggings. Actually, my husband talked me into buying them... go figure 🙄... Anyways, they’re the ones everyone is raving about. “They feel like butter” “They make your Booty look great!”.... yeah yeah yeah... they sold me. I bought them. I got them home and I put them on This past Sunday. I Had my oldest teenager and the youngest daughter check if they’re see through.... you know the drill right ladies? Stand in two different types of light, then the bend over test... yeah. 2 girls... Nope. Not see through. #Winning!! Then we leave. Go to dance. I go for my usual walk. Weird guys are always everywhere so I think nothing of it. On the way back from my walk with my friend some guy on a skateboard is making like howling, barking, excited sounds. (Again, I ignore cuz weirdos all over. Thought he was just another random weirdo). My friend gets a phone call so I take over pushing her baby, bending down and giving him snacks and whatnot, adjusting the visor. We walk past (weird skateboard guy) and he makes eye contact with me, so I smile (mind I have a mask on) he smiles like the Cheshire Cat (no mask). Sweaty blond hair, bloodshot blue eyes and a grin from ear to ear. I help my friend put her baby in the car and the stroller away and get in my car to go home. I get home and get out of the car (5 HOURS LATER) middle teenage daughter says to me as I’m barely halfway out of the car “MOM! Did you know your pants are see thru?!” “WHAT?! NO!!!” “Yup. You only lifted a cheek and I see your whole butt!”....at this point I’m mortified. NO WONDER HOMEBOY WAS SOUNDING LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN A DONKEY AND A PIT BULL IN HEAT!!!! My @$$ was shinning like I had good sense. At this point I get out of the car and I mean mug the other two girls. I was like “what the heck?!” To which the oldest teenager says to me, “oh yeah, I noticed (wait for it........) when you were getting IN THE CAR to leave this morning, but I thought you knew!” “What the actual hell kid?! Why wouldn’t you tell me?! If I knew, I would’ve tied a sweater around my waist, or just changed all together!“ So at this point, I was contemplating all of my life’s decisions and debating on putting that particular kid up for adoption! It all makes sense now.... donkey catcall pit bull whisperer guy got a free show!!!! well mr. Skateboard dude, welcome to a glimpse of my sh*tshow! Ps. Still debating about this kid.... she’s lucky I love her. Hahahahaha