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Writer's pictureAmy_Torres

I shouldn’t have trusted that fart...

Yes... in a bleak moment I sat And really thought to myself... is this really my life?! Is someone watching me with a Punked crew waiting to jump out and laugh at me??? Nope. Really my life. I’ll fill you all in. If you have to pee... go NOW before you

finish reading. I’ll wait.... then you can laugh at my expense...

Here we go... Thanks to the pandemic, nobody can meet in person so I was sitting on a Zoom call where the person running the important business call would unmute you randomly to ask questions. So, as I sat in my zoom, I’m paying attention and waiting to answer in case I’m called on and here comes my youngest daughter who is 9 now. She’s standing there, ever so patiently standing parallel to my computer out of the screen view and holding a Walmart grocery back in her little hands gripped so tightly by the handles ip to her little chest. I look over to her and give her a quick whisper, “yes babe? Did you need something?” To which she attempts and fails miserably at a whisper, “I pooped POOP💩 my pants!” I look at her straight in the face and I guess my face was something like this 😨. To which I whisper again and I tell her, “Ok. Put those on the back porch and I’ll clean them and I will help you get in the bath in a minute as soon as I’m off of my zoom” All the while... I’m mortified and i glance back at the screen PRAYING that I’m not unmuted.... THANK YOU JESUS! It was muted. So i continue with my zoom and she’s still standing there with the nasty chonies gripped ever so tightly in her little hands tighyly to her chest. I whisper to her again, (all while trying to be nonchalant to not draw attention to myself in this meeting by the way) “Did you need something else, Baby?” Just as the lady in the meeting asks an Important question and says shes going to call on someone to respond, here my precious baby girl fails again at her attempt to whisper... it’s more like a grumble actually....”I shouldn’t have trusted that fart!”..... DONE! Check me the hell out... all the way out the door! I’m sorry.... what?! I think I passed out and thought I died 😵 💀 in that moment. I didn’t even want to look at my zoom call. I remember closing my eyes 🙈 and slowly turning my face back to the screen and slowly peeling one eye open to realize... I WAS SAVED AGAIN!! THANK YOU AGAIN, JESUS!!! Lord... have alllllll the mercy.... so the lesson for the day is.... “You shouldn’t trust the fart cuz you’ll sh*t your pants and be a part of My Sh*tshow! #MyShitShow #ShitHappens #Literally






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